Are You Bad Enough?

"Are You Bad Enough to Be My Dude?" was almost the title for Sheryl Crow's 1999 hit song of a similar name, until a prophecy told her of an imminent relationship with a man named "Lance Armstrong", and then it became "Arm You Strong Enough to Be My Dude?" That was, until hotshot record producer Bruce Dickinson (played by "The Prophecy" star Christopher Walken during the famous "Needs More Cowbell" skit on Saturday Night Live) made an ad-nauseam suggestion to put more "r" in "arm" to the point where the "m" was dwarfed into total loss. The song was finally released under the title "Are You Strong Enough to Be My Dude?" Somehow, the misnomer, "Are You Strong Enough to Be My Man?" has managed to stick around and no one knows why.

Listen. You be the judge:

The bigger, mostly unanswerable question is, "Are You a Bad Enough Dude to Rescue the President?" Philosopher and Zen Buddhist, Alan Watts, once said "The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad." Donald Sutherland's character from "National Lampoon's Animal House," Professor Jennings, posed the question, "Is being bad more fun than being good?" Regardless of where you stand on the issue of good vs. bad, one thing is certain: "Bad Dudes" for NES forces you to confront this issue head-on.

Where do I stand on this issue? Personally, I have mixed feelings. Rescuing the president was good, but I had to be bad in order to achieve the goal. When trying to reconcile these feelings, I remembered why I didn't hesitate the call to action.

Look at that guy! That guy is the coolest boss ever! He looks just like Duke Nukem. The amount of chicks he's bedded probably looks like a progressive jackpot meter. You really gonna say "no" and have that guy call you a "pussy"?

No way. Would you?

- Grant