Ian learned every important life lesson from video games:  “Leisure Suit Larry” taught him about women.  “Twisted Metal” taught him how to drive, and “Burgertime” taught him about health and fitness.  (Ian resides alone in a one bedroom apartment that he’s constantly behind the rent on because he spends so much money on auto insurance and diabetes medication.)


Grant Kreider

In the summer of 2006, Grant played "Super Mario All Stars" for SNES and managed to beat "Super Mario 3" in 26 minutes. Impressive, but what most people didn't know is that his time was still 13 minutes longer than the established record in 2006. It was an easy Google search. He would rely on passive ignorance to boast his accomplishment, saying he was probably in the top 3. Then, when his college campus upgraded from T1 to T3 LAN, questions arose, so he started claiming top 5. With early wi-fi, it became top 100. As of now, he remains largely silent about his accomplishments.

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LeRoy Warner Jr.

"The Legend of LeRoy started on the 84th year in the 20th century of our lord. Born from an ancient Pac-Man cabinet and a soda vending machine, the sounds, sights and smells of gaming ran though his storied blood from the very beginning. At 3 months he spoke his first… What’s that? We only have room for a few sentences? Why? Can’t we buy more space? No? Well that’s really fuc-"
*LeRoy works in Television Production and lives the bachelor life in Los Angeles, CA with his fish and Coheed & Cambria Memorabilia